Facts about the nightlife.

Guys go to find chicksGirls go to "have fun"Now, why is this so? Cause’ girls friggin always seem to have a good time. They don’t need to meet guys to have fun. Girls can dance w/ each other, hold hands, kiss each other, get free drinks, get hit on all night. They get to do whatever they want, and it’s considered HOT. Guys on the other hand have no choice. What would you think if you heard 2 guys talking like girls?Joe "Yo John"John: "Sup Bro"Joe "It’s Friday, I’m so stressed, I need to dance yo"John "Werd, me too, my body is so tense I’m gonna explode if I don’t get down"OMG, can we say G-A-Y GAY? How bad does it look to see 4 guys dancing in a circle just smiling all night long? Or holding hands? This is exactly why the only legitimate reason for a straight guy to go clubbin is to MEET GIRLS. Why do girls go to "have fun"? Cuz they get hit on all the time like a pinata that they dont’ need to go to meet guys. I’ll tell you one thing though: IF YOU ARE AN UGLY GIRL, you may not say it, but you are there to hopefully meet a nice guy. Hot girls get hit on at clubs, at school, on the bus, at church, in the crib, on friendster on xanga, they are so sick of it. That’s why they go to "have fun and dance". But if some cute guy comes along, they may give him a chance.So what does this mean? Well once you understand the mentality of the clubbers you will now know why they act the way they do.



Now this is exactly what a typical club floorplan looks like. First of all notice the ratio is like 7-1 BLUE/RED (Guy/Girl). The girls are dancing together in their stupid Fobby Circle, while a bunch of daring guys are on the outside dancing trying to get in. Most of the guys are on the OUTSIDE of the dance floor staring, trying to look cool. In this scenario, NOBODY looks cool, so give it up ok? Guys always complain, I can’t find a girl. Well cause’ there’s like a 7-1 ratio stupid. Girls always complain, how can I meet a cute guy? Well if you seperate yourself out of your fobby circle and go to the bar area, there are more guys there than fobs who can speak good Engrish.



MaMasita: To the left is a close up of the dance floor. What some people don’t know, is that within every group of girls is some type of Cockblocker called a Mamasita. She is the size of the Great Wall of China and there is no way to go around her. Guys are in no way able to get to the skinny girls unless MaMasita is taken care of. This is where the WingMan comes in. Friends take turns being the "designated driver" and take turns occupying MaMasita (otherwise known as "taking one for the team") so that the other guy can bypass security. If MaMasita is unusually big (which more times than not is the case) open a big tab and buy her some 151s to take her out.



Sneak Attack: Girls absolutely hate this. Sometimes it’s Guerilla warfare and despite the best efforts of girls to holds hands and protect each other, some asshole will come out of the woodwork like a silent fart and catch you by surprise. He’ll come and suddenly put his arms around her waist. Gasp. Who the hell is that? She will make faces to her friends to ascertain if the guy is cute or not. If he is cute, the other girls will give her the thumbs up, but 99 3/4% of the time, the girls will either pull her away, or MaMasita will come and sit on him.



Bitch: Yea, some girls have such an attitude. They are hot, and they know it. She gives you the finger no matter how nice you are. Once I saw a guy give a girl his business card. She tore it up right in the middle of the dance floor in front of him. I swear there are some stupid guys and some ass hole guys, but that’s just wrong. If you got game perhaps you can win them over, but guys can be victims too.



Jealousy: Sometimes you have a couple of girls in a group. In the beginning the short fat girl is like, it’s all find and dandy. But after like the 374th time u go clubbing she finallly gets fed up. "stupid blonde bitch gets all the attention" and secretly plots her downfall. The final straw is when the short fat ugly girl talks to a guy she likes, who suddenly sees her blonde hot friend and leaves her to join the crowd who surrounds the hot chick. A screaming match ensures followed by hair pulling, screaming and other less than ladylike personality traits. Next time u go clubbin, for once, look at thehot girl’s friend and you will see a polite smile, while rage is being built underneath. Eventually she resorts to online dating.



Sucker: Never never get suckered into buying a group of girls some drinks unless they are friends or it’s going somewhere. Many girls don’t’ want to pay for anything including cover charge or drink. They stand next to the bar looking all hot waiting for some unsuspecting fool to talk to them. They will be unusually friendly, and before you know it they suggest a round of drinks. Usually it’s some worthless weak ass drink like Apple Martini, Malibu Pineapple, some other fruity fruit punch cost $10 kool aid drink. As soon as you get suckered into it, they take their smiling faces (and drinks) away. Well at least you made someone happy for 5 minutes. Too bad it isn’t you. Say bye to $40